$3.49
Ever feel like all you need is a magic pill to make everything feel better during those stressful times? Ever wish you could cure a friend’s woes? Forget the doctor, unless it's serious, of course! Try Novelty Meds! A great gift for a friend or yourself!
The candies are Smarties® brand. The Smarties® company is in no way connected to Novelty Meds or its parent company, Diversified Global LLC nor its management company Diversified Company.
IMPORTANT; Because of the composition of Smarties® it is not at all uncommon to find broken pieces in your bottle which can occur during transit. The candies are very fragile. We are not responsible for this natural occurrence and when we package the bottles, the candies are fully intact. Additionally, these candies have a natural candy "dust" to them which will be evident within the bottle.
Novelty Meds are great tasting candies in a real prescription bottle meant to bring a big smile and a hearty laugh to the “patient” that receives them. Designed to look like a real prescription from the pharmacy, Novelty Meds are available with a variety of stock "cures" for the “medication,” or can be personalized with the “patient’s” name and a custom "cure" benefit from the “medicine.”
Novelty Meds… Illusions of Solutions
*** THESE ITEMS ARE FOR THOSE THAT WISH TO ADD A NAME TO A STOCK "CURE" AND/OR TO CREATE THEIR OWN "CURE". IF YOU WANT OUR "READY TO SHIP" PRODUCT WITHOUT CUSTOMIZATION, PLEASE SEE OUR OTHER LISTING. ***
*** THESE ITEMS CONTAIN MINTS. FOR CANDY HEARTS, PLEASE SEE OUR OTHER LISTINGS. ***
Add a gift box for just 50 cents! *
“NO CANDY OPTION”: Fill it yourself! We will send empty labelled bottles for you to fill with your own candy, trinket, or other item you desire.
- SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION ELECTION 2020 SERIES -
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT DONALD J. TRUMP
DID NOT WIN THE ELECTION.
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT DONALD J. TRUMP
WON THE ELECTION.
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT JOSEPH R. BIDEN
DID NOT WIN THE ELECTION.
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT JOSEPH R. BIDEN
WON THE ELECTION.
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT HILLARY CLINTON
WON REELECTION IN 2020.
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY
MOUTH AS NEEDED TO HELP
KEEP YOURSELF FROM
TALKING ABOUT POLITICS.
LIMITED EDITION – Defunding Police
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT DEFUNDING THE
POLICE WILL MAKE YOU SAFER.
LIMITED EDITION – Blue Flu
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO REMIND YOU OF
THE VALUE OF LAW ENFORCEMENT.
Alien Control
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH AS
NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT THERE ARE ALIENS CONTROLLING
YOUR THOUGHTS.
Because I Love You
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO REMIND YOU THAT
I BOUGHT THIS FOR YOU
SIMPLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!
Believe All
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE
ILLUSION THAT EVERYONE REALLY
DOES BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SAY.
Can Dance
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION THAT YOU REALLY CAN DANCE.
Can Sing
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU REALLY CAN SING.
Can't Do Better
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU CAN'T DO ANY BETTER.
Cure All (Best Selling Option)
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT IT WILL CURE EVERYTHING THAT AILS YOU.
Didn't Settle
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU REALLY DIDN’T SETTLE FOR LESS.
Get Your Blood Pumping
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU INSPIRATION
TO GET YOUR BLOOD PUMPING!
Good as it Gets
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT NOTHING THAT THIS TRULY IS
AS GOOD AS IT GETS.
Hot Stuff
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU ARE REALLY AS HOT AS
YOU THINK YOU ARE.
Ignore It
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT IF YOU IGNORE IT, IT REALLY
WILL GO AWAY.
Invincible
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU ARE INVINCIBLE TO
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
Know All
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU REALLY DO KNOW EVERYTHING.
Know Better
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO KNOW BETTER.
Love Job
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT YOU REALLY DO LOVE YOUR JOB.
My Love For You
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO REMIND YOU OF
MY LOVE FOR YOU!
WARNING: DO NOT CHEW OR HEARTBREAK POSSIBLE.
No Fault
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT NOTHING THAT GOES WRONG
IS EVER YOUR FAULT.
Political Discussions
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH AS
NEEDED TO HELP KEEP YOURSELF
FROM TALKING ABOUT POLITICS.
See Through
TAKE 1 CANDY TABLET BY MOUTH
AS NEEDED TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION
THAT PEOPLE REALLY CAN'T SEE
RIGHT THROUGH YOU.
Each "prescription" contains approximately 60 MINT tablets and weighs approximately one ounce.
* The optional 2x2x4 white gift box comfortably houses one Novelty Meds "prescription." The box arrives to you flat, and you will assemble it to look as shown in the photo. The box itself is blank to further add to the mystery of what that is in the mystery box when the recipient instinctively shakes it.
DISCLAIMER:
NoveltyMeds.Com does not sell real medication. Although our products look like real prescriptions due to the packaging and labelling, and although the contents may resemble medication, we sell candy in prescription bottles and by no means any true medication or nutritional supplements. Although this is candy, we recommend this product for adults only, not children. We further advise keeping this product out of the reach of children so they will not confuse real medication with candy. We are not responsible for what you choose to do with your purchase, who you give it to, or how you store it, or any outcome of your actions. This is a novelty item and should be treated as such.
1-3 business days
I'll do my best to meet these shipping estimates, but can't guarantee them. Actual delivery time will depend on the shipping method you choose.
Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.
Just contact me within: 14 days of delivery
Ship items back to me within: 30 days of delivery
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:
Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.
Diversified Company Privacy Policy
This Privacy Policy applies to all countries we service. The Privacy Policy below governs any information you provide on this site and how information provided to us by PayPal or other methods of payment will be used by us.
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A. Overview
B. Information We Collect
C. Our Use and Disclosure of Information
D. Information Security
E. Accessing and Changing Your Information
F. Contacting Us
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A. Overview In order to accept orders from you, while at the same time incorporating age verification into the process, we use outside payment processors as described above, to process your payment. Our Privacy Privacy Policy describes the information we collect or receive and how we use that information. We take the privacy of your personal information very seriously and will use your information only in accordance with the terms of this Privacy Policy. We will not sell or rent your personally identifiable information or a list of our customers to third parties. However, as described in more detail in Part C below, there are limited circumstances in which some of your information will be shared with third parties, under strict restrictions, so it is important for you to review this Privacy Policy. Your act of purchasing product through our website constitutes acceptance of the Privacy Policy and User Agreement. You expressly consent to our use and disclosure of your personal information in the manner described in this Privacy Policy. This Privacy Policy will take effect on May 1, 2004. This Privacy Policy was last updated on January 24, 2016. Please note that only the following of your personal information will be stored and processed on our computers in the United States. 1) Your Name 2) Your Address 3) Your phone number, if provided 4) Your email address 5) Your order details excluding credit card account number which we do not ever see or have access to. The laws on holding personal data in the United States may be less stringent than the laws of your country but we will hold and transmit your personal information in a safe, confidential and secure environment. If you object to your personal information being transferred or used as described in this Privacy Policy, please do not complete a purchase with us, but rather contact us for clarification and then decide. Notification of Changes This policy may be revised over time as we make changes or incorporate suggestions from our customers. If we are going to use or disclose your personally identifiable information in a manner materially different from that stated at the time we collected the information, you will have a choice as to whether or not we use or disclose your information in this new manner. Any material changes will be effective only after we provide you by e-mail with at least 30 days’ notice of the amended Privacy Policy to be sent to the email address on file. We will post the amended Privacy Policy prominently on our Web site so that you can always review what information we gather, how we might use that information, and whether we will disclose it to anyone. Our site includes links to third party Web sites via payment processing or other advertisers we may incorporate on the site. These sites are governed by their own privacy statements, and we are not responsible for their operations, including but not limited to their information practices. Users submitting information to or through these third party Web sites should review the privacy statement of these sites before providing them with personally identifiable information. A Special Note About Minors: Children are not allowed to legally use our service and we ask that minors (under the age of 18) do not submit any personal information to us or use the service.
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B. Information When you make a purchase, our payment provider will provide us with the information you provide them that is necessary for us to complete your order. This includes your name, address, city, state, zip, telephone if provided, and the detail of items, quantities, and price, along with grand total of order. We never see your credit card information. We never have access to it. In the event that someone compromises the security of our site, your personal information is never at risk on our server. We store nothing related to our customers on this server and the server that does store the information has no Internet accessible connection and is therefore very secure. Web Site Traffic Information: Because of the way that World Wide Web communication standards work, when you arrive at or leave our Web site, we automatically receive the Web address of the site that you came from or are going to (in some cases.) We also collect information on which pages of our Web site you visit while you are on our site, including this page, the type of browser you use and the times you access our Web site. We use this information only to try to understand our customers’ preferences better and to manage the load on our servers, so as to improve our web site. We do not track the Web sites that you visit before or after you leave the our site. Our Use of “Cookies” “Cookies” are small files of data that reside on your computer and allow us to recognize you if you return to the our site using the same computer and browser. We may send a “session cookie” to your computer. These cookies allow us to recognize you if you visit multiple pages in our site during the same session. Once you close your browser, these session cookies expire and no longer have any effect. Customer Service Correspondence If you send us correspondence, including e-mails and faxes, we retain such information in the records of your account. We will also retain customer service correspondence and other correspondence from us to you. We retain these records in order to measure and improve our customer service. We may, over time, delete these records if permitted by law.
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C. Our Use and Disclosure of Information Internal Uses We collect, store and process your personal information on servers located in the United States. We use the information we collect about you in order 1) to process your order for delivery, 2) to provide customer service, 3) to determine your eligibility to receive offers for special discounts or incentives, and 4) to improve our services. We also provide your name and mailing address only to our supplier(s) with your product item order detail. No financial information is shared with our supplier(s). We give access to individually identifiable information about our users only to those employees or suppliers who require it to fulfill customer service requests. Disclosure to Other Diversified Customers: Your information is not made available to other customers. Disclosure to Third Parties Other Than Diversified Customers: We will not sell or rent any of your personally identifiable information to third parties. We will not share any of your personally identifiable information with third parties except in the limited circumstances described below, or with your express permission (and to other .Com customers as described above). These third parties are limited by law or by contract from using the information for secondary purposes beyond the purposes for which the information is shared. We share information with companies that help us process the transactions you request. If you should owe us unpaid money, we may share information with processing companies including collection agencies. We do NOT disclose the information we collect, as described in Section B above, to companies that perform marketing services. We disclose information that we in good faith believe is appropriate to cooperate in investigations of fraud or other illegal activity. Specifically, this means that if we conduct a fraud investigation and conclude that one side has engaged in deceptive practices, we can give that person or entity’s contact information to victims who request it. We disclose information in response to a subpoena, warrant, court order, levy, attachment, order of a court-appointed receiver or other comparable legal process, including subpoenas from private parties in a civil action. We disclose information to your agent or legal representative (such as the holder of a power of attorney that you grant, or a guardian appointed for you). As with any other business, it is possible that we in the future could merge with or be acquired by another company. If such an acquisition occurs, the successor company would have access to the information maintained by us, including customer account information, but would continue to be bound by this Privacy Policy unless and until it is amended as described in Section A above. Our Contacts with our Customers We communicate with users on a regular basis via e-mail to provide requested services, and we may also communicate by phone to resolve customer complaints or investigate suspicious transactions. We use your e-mail address to confirm your order shipment, to send you notice of delays in shipment, to send information about important changes to our products and services, and to send notices and other disclosures required by law. Generally, users cannot opt out of these communications, but they will be primarily informational in nature rather than promotional. We also use your e-mail address to send you other types of communications that you can control, as in, choose to Opt-Out of. Instructions will be included in the email. In connection with independent audits of our financial statements and operations, the auditors may seek to contact a sample of our customers to confirm that our records are accurate. However, these auditors cannot use personally identifiable information for any secondary purposes. Internet Address Information We use IP addresses, browser types and access times to analyze trends, administer the site, improve site performance and gather broad demographic information for aggregate use.
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D. Information Security Information Security We restrict access to your personally identifiable information to employees who need to know that information in order to provide products or services to you. We maintain physical, electronic and procedural safeguards that comply with federal regulations to guard your non-public personal information. We test our security systems regularly. Any e-mail or other communication requesting passwords, asking you to provide sensitive account information via email, or linking to a website with a URL that seems suspicious should be treated as unauthorized and suspicious and should be reported to us immediately at customerservice@choosedversified.com.
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E. Accessing and Changing Your Information You can change the personal information you provided us at any time by sending an email to customerservice@choosediversified.com. Never send credit card information to us. We never see that information. Only update your address or phone number, or name with us.
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F. Contacting Us If you have any questions about this privacy statement, our information practices, or your dealings with us, you can contact us at customerservice@choosediversified.com.
Customized products are optional. We carry many stock "cures" ready to go. Also, if you like a "cure" we have available, you can ask us to use it along with the name of the recipient.
You should include name and/or "cure" specifics in the notes area when making your payment. If you forget, simply send us a "Conversation" and we'll attach it to your order. Please be advised that we reserve the right to refuse an order and/or adjust or refuse customization of an item. While we are very liberal in what we will allow, we MUST be sure our product does not give the impression it cures or treats any ailment in reality, we have special guidelines we must follow with respect to actual medication names, and beyond that, it is very rare we refuse or restrict an order unless it is antagonistic hate, threats, etc. to someone or a group that we deem a potential physical or emotional risk in processing.
NoveltyMeds.Com does not sell real medication. Although our products look like real prescriptions due to the packaging and labelling, and although the contents may resemble medication, we sell candy in prescription bottles and by no means any true medication or nutritional supplements. Although this is candy, we recommend this product for adults only, not children. We further advise keeping this product out of the reach of children so they will not confuse real medication with candy. We are not responsible for what you choose to do with your purchase, who you give it to, or how you store it, or any outcome of your actions. This is a novelty item and should be treated as such.
If you wish to purchase a stock "cure" with a recipient's name, it is considered a custom order. You do not have to come up with a "cure" of your own if you like one of ours. We have a talented and clever team as well, so sometimes you can give us a little information of your goal and we can come up with a good "cure" to match. We encourage you to submit your own, and we'll tweak it up if necessary.
If you choose to add a gift box, it arrives flat in the package and you'll need to assemble it. (It's super easy.) So, if we are shipping directly to the recipient instead of you, buying a gift box wouldn't be practical.
Unless specifically requested that we print a receipt and enclose it with your order, we don't send printed receipts. Instead, you'll receive a digital receipt from our Corporate Offices (Diversified Company) via email. So, if the recipient receives the package directly at your request, they will not see the receipt.
No! It is amazing how many people ask that question, as if we have a pill press and can just dazzle up anything you might want to have in candy form instead of actual medication. It is a violation of Federal Law, on many levels, to manufacture candy that is identical to medication with intent to distribute as medication or otherwise. We offer mints and candy hearts. We may offer other candies in the future, but beyond that, what you see is what we have.
We think your best course of action is going to be to seek professional assistance if you cannot successfully confront and cease that action. This is a candy product for entertainment purposes only. We obviously can't control what you do with it, but we can't knowingly contribute to a ruse of this nature.
We obviously can't control what you put in the bottle. We can replace the word CANDY with another word, but please be advised we can't place references to the content being anything illegal (including marijuana as long as it is against Federal Law). We also cannot put any medication name on the bottle. We are very liberal on what we allow on the labels, but we scrutinize more closely on "no candy" orders. This is simply for legal reasons. We also don't want our big PR moment to surround around something dumb someone put in an empty bottle.
Of course. We actually review all multi-item orders to be sure that the shipping costs are in line with the rates we pay for shipping. It's not uncommon for you to pay a few cents more or less than we do, but we don't add a percentage markup. We have also set maximum shipping charges as well as other discounts that kick in as the dollar amount goes up, but if we notice something is wrong, you'll usually hear from us before we hear from you with a refund for the overage. But, certainly reach out if you need us to review it.
